11 Questions to Reduce Hurry and Worry

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When you start to teach people about something, it gives you yourself more pressure to be example as well. This is mostly positive thing, because then you start deepen your relationship with the things you are teaching. Often this deepening means that you are thinking what you are teaching learning at the same time from different perspectives.

What I learned this morning about feeling of hurry is this: hurry is just lack of preparation.

This means, if we feel hurry, we have failed to anticipate the stuff we are stressing about presently.

What helps here is to accept the present circumstances and prioritize and think what is truly important, and how important. It’s through prioritization only way that we can live through our commitments and learn to make commitments that are most relevant to us.

Uncertainty makes life difficult. Or life is suffering like the Buddha came to understand.

The ability to accept these and to have a set of thinking skills in the present help to handle almost anything that happens and still live a worthwhile life.

Do not be affected by hurry.

Here are some helpful questions to cope:

  1. Do I have any problems right now?
  2. What is the most important priority right now?
  3. Am I doing my best?
  4. Is there something I or we can do?
  5. What would be the first step forward?
  6. What’s the worst thing that can happen?
  7. What is positive about this situation?
  8. Is the worst thing that can happen?
  9. Is this the end of the world?
  10. What is the upside?
  11. How to benefit from this situation?

Have a great evening!

Janne

The Choice

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You have a choice; you can choose what you believe. Your beliefs will translate as action, which will then again translate as results.

Beliefs may or may not have some basis. During the weekend, I was discussing with my brother and I understood. I understood a thing about my own past and then I presented a question what causes people to challenge their beliefs?

Answer is something from outside needs to challenge our beliefs, which then with later reflection may tip us to turn into ourselves and ask if it’s true or not. Even more accurately a blog post that I found describes this belief formation and questioning: How Our Beliefs Form and What Causes us to Question Them.

When I think about my own life, nine years ago I did question my beliefs and decided to start test some these beliefs if they are right or not. Turns out most of my beliefs were not true.

As I read that blog and saw the set of questions to challenge some of my beliefs I am quite certain that I’ve still a lot to do.

We have a choice about our beliefs. World is wonderful place when we have more positive beliefs about people and things. When we look at the facts, world is at the moment better than ever before. What do you choose to believe in today?

What’s Worth Sacrificing For?

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The more ambitious we the more our life becomes a process consisting of planning, prioritization and doing.

With this this process good question to asks are such as:

  • What is the most important thing I can be doing now?
  • What is worth sacrificing for?

If we are not satisfied with our lives, is mostly because we have wasted a much of it. Ask anyone who feels like they are living a fulfilling life and the reason they are there, because they have made choices to do this specific thing instead of couple, or hundred others. They’ve chosen and sacrificed the alternatives to be doing what they do.

Life is in fact constant prioritization: during a day, week, month or year.

There are several priorities, yet we choose to do some and not to do others, on what basis?

Something has to be sacrificed, what are you willing to sacrifice?

Relating to yesterday’s post about investments, are you sacrificing to invest something, or just to degenerate?

Conscious Growth

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Definition of ‘conscious’ according to Google: late 16th century (in the sense ‘being aware of wrongdoing’).

Being aware of wrongdoing! To be aware of the wrongdoing would require some sense of the right. And for this there are some simple questions to ask yourself:

What is my purpose?

What is my mission?

What is my vision?

What are my values?

 

Pause, Don’t Panic

While the set of questions may be daunting, pause for a minute first.

Often we are living our lives without personal life statements such as these, yet many organizations have their purposes, missions and values which we are exposed to. Although we might be unconsciously gravitating towards what feels right, I think everyone owes it to themselves to be aware of their own values and drivers.

The ability to love others come only through our own growth. And growth can only begin if we know where are a standing, and then where we want to go. So this is essential groundwork to be done on the journey of growth.

 

Example

My purpose is simply to grow, explore so that I may nurture the growth of others. As for my mission, it’s more about how good karma is my guide and I try to lead a good and virtuous life through example. These serve my vision which is to organize progressively challenging successes together, so that we could maybe one day work towards exciting goals such as interplanetary travel.

I admit that in an everyday situation I would probably be unlikely very well articulated about these. Yet I am recognizing the importance of knowing the purpose, mission, vision and values by heart. Often many organizations such as companies and churches have their values in many places so that people will remember theirs easily. Yet why is it so that we do not have our own values memorized?

 

We Are What We Remember We Are

Our understanding of the reality pretty much of what we remember, either through experiences or knowledge. It is the memory and identity that dictate what we think we can do.

Therefore we should remember our purpose, values, mission and vision by heart. If you are young, some of these might be still working versions, which is totally fine. It is the sign of a wise person to be able to have dialogue with the world and change their behavior upon learned experiences and wisdom.

Quick and permanent judgement does not simply work, because all life is in constant flux and fluid like water. It’s like saying the water in a running river is today same as yesterday. Well although its water, a lot of water has passed already! Understand the impermanence in life.

 

Paradox of Life

You have to prioritize the needs of other people and your own growth at the same time.

Again, pause and breathe! Two things can be true at the same time: think of circle overlapping each other or the atmosphere of the earth. Because in fact there is no clear point where space starts and the atmosphere ends it’s seamless!

 

Sustaining Growth

To sustain growth, we need energy.

Prioritizing the needs of others eventually drains ourselves. Yet there is no greater purpose in life to serve others and nurture their growth.

For this reason, we need to prioritize our own growth at the same time. We need to take our own energy. and growth. There are many forms of energy: mental, physical, spiritual and intellectual and you must attend to all these parts in your life.

Due to the seamless nature of life we ought to become the masters at prioritizing each moment according to what will serve our overall purpose the best.

I’ve attempted to describe the prioritizing with the following picture:

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And right away contradicting with my own model I dare to say it is possible to rest in motion if you are well prepared. Likewise it is possible to have rest that does not feel like rest at all if you have taken too much action.

What I find interesting, the more you shift between the action and preparation, the better of you actually are. As extreme example: Elon Musk has his days split into chunks of 5 minutes. This kind of schedule would be really fluid between burning energy and recovering it.

I am trying to have split my focused work to 45 minute spurts and then something else between.

When it comes to sustainable growth, we are all individuals with different drivers (values, purpose, mission…), so some are willing to sacrifice different aspects of their lives than others. However, be aware of your choice.

Path of the Conscious Growth

Conscious growth means acknowledging your responsibility over your own growth in order to benefit others. Conscious growth is essentially recognizing the potential in yourself and then starting the work to actualize some of that potential.

Next think: what is it you want next?

Based on the previous questions, you should know by know that the time and energy are limited. We still what we want and setting a goal towards that can be beneficial, at least you will be going to the right direction.

Why Do You Do What You Do?

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Yesterday evening I decided to clarify my vision after a long time and it was about time, because in fact I just had a starting point, not really a clear vision. Now I’ve a bit clearer picture, yet it could use more details and all the nice things.

Even more so was alarming that today I caught myself asking “why do I need to buy apartment again?”

For me the pressure to get my own place again stems from the need to continue my life after breakup.

This time I decided to think “what I am doing again” and “why.”  I tried to use the five why’s, which is great, however I noticed it was not in this case a perfect. Still using the questions and Socratic method got me quite far and I am rather satisfied with it.

So now, I began to get a bigger picture: next move depends on what I want to do as well as the why. Positive side of the pressure to do something is the freedom to figure out creative solutions.

From the birds eye perspective, the short term pain is acceptable, because I know that the long term why is being fulfilled.

So perhaps this questioning exercise of asking why do you do what you want to do is something you might wanna try next time you feel under pressure or confused.

Guiding Questions

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Adding to the yesterday’s post, today I realized there are a few questions I am using to lead myself through the days:

  1. How does this add value to my life?
  2. What is the most important thing I can be doing right now?
  3. How can I do this?

First question I’ve been using around a week now, second one around two months and the third one for about nine months. I realized that together these are forming kind of guiding habit to my thinking which helps me to identify what does add value, what is most important and how I can achieve that.

“Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.” – Voltaire

Life is about finding the right questions, then pursuing to answer those questions.

How Does This Add Value?  

 

lighthouse-2225445_640.jpgI watched the documentary about the Minimalists (Joshua Fields Millburn & Ryan Nicodemus) the other day. I picked up this “how does this add value” –question there, and I’ve been successfully applying it widely to my life and especially decisions making.

For stuff it is more obvious, however it does have to do a lot with how do we choose to spend our time as well.

Good question give important perspective.

The Next Level

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Reaching the next level either in organizations or personal life requires often paradigm shift, changing the way we think about something.

I am dealing with such paradigm shifts at the moment both personally and professionally at the moment; things where I think much greater results are within reach with the new kind of thinking.

Professionally it is the accumulation of roughly two and half year experience, coming now as a new understanding and belief what could be possible.

Personally the paradigm shift comes from the scale: the old way to do things brings the certain results, but since I want something different, it is time to start changing the action.

Basis in both are the same, changing the old behavior, because there is clear understanding that there are smarter ways to take on the action that transcends the old behaviors.

To different people the next level means different things, some go straight from one to ten or hundred, while others go from one to two. We all have our own path to go; our goal determine our paths. We should not change our goal, if we cannot right away meet it. Instead we should find the right questions to reach those goals.

 

Clarifying the Life Priorities

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Habits and pressures are really hard to break, this I’ve come to admit today. Actually now that I started to reflect what I’ve read recently, Charles Duhigg put it so that habits are impossible to break, they can be transformed thought.

This morning is exceptional for me, because here in Finland we’ve this four day Easter break that lasts from Friday until Monday.  For me this kind of break is a piece of heaven: break from the everyday and time to clarify my life priorities.

I’ve noticed some priorities I’ve had are on paper at the top, but not in action. So this is perfect time to think how I can really get them to be where they need to be in the priority hierarchy. It’s about asking myself hundreds of times what matters, and also remembering why it matters.

Asking these questions and remembering why the priorities are on top will brighten the colors of life. This will happen for sure, especially if all the priorities are not working out like in my case. At least we can start figuring out the next question: how…

Getting all the pieces of priority during our lives is an art that takes patience, there are no instant wins. However the progress brings as much as joy as the achievement and figuring out the questions are the first big leaps forward.

Happiness Management

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Life is a weird game of happiness management. First we need to manage our own happiness. The

more happy we are, then we are likely try to satisfy and make other people happy as well. The more we are able to do this, the happier we are also in return.

This is how I would boil down the life to.

Yet when I google words like happiness management, it is most likely to be in business / organizational point of thinking, even though it should also very personal.

Even less there are hits when I try to search for satisfaction management, which is essentially the base of life experience: am I satisfied with my life? How can I help others to be more satisfied with theirs?

These are very basic questions; to which I for example have hard time answering. And then I have to ask myself other questions such as to rank my life areas in order to get some kind of vague idea where I am at the moment versus many other moments before.

Most of the so called happiness is thus unveiled through series of questions. Questions that hopefully lead us closer to the root causes of this.

Life is series is of questions, ongoing investigation who we are and what can we do for ourselves and others. These questions are the sort of control we have over our lives.

To manage happiness, we need to ask these questions ourselves frequently and keep revising these questions. Perhaps we will be ask closer to the right questions in the future through this practice and manage internal happiness better.