11 Questions to Reduce Hurry and Worry

composing-2925179_640.jpg

When you start to teach people about something, it gives you yourself more pressure to be example as well. This is mostly positive thing, because then you start deepen your relationship with the things you are teaching. Often this deepening means that you are thinking what you are teaching learning at the same time from different perspectives.

What I learned this morning about feeling of hurry is this: hurry is just lack of preparation.

This means, if we feel hurry, we have failed to anticipate the stuff we are stressing about presently.

What helps here is to accept the present circumstances and prioritize and think what is truly important, and how important. It’s through prioritization only way that we can live through our commitments and learn to make commitments that are most relevant to us.

Uncertainty makes life difficult. Or life is suffering like the Buddha came to understand.

The ability to accept these and to have a set of thinking skills in the present help to handle almost anything that happens and still live a worthwhile life.

Do not be affected by hurry.

Here are some helpful questions to cope:

  1. Do I have any problems right now?
  2. What is the most important priority right now?
  3. Am I doing my best?
  4. Is there something I or we can do?
  5. What would be the first step forward?
  6. What’s the worst thing that can happen?
  7. What is positive about this situation?
  8. Is the worst thing that can happen?
  9. Is this the end of the world?
  10. What is the upside?
  11. How to benefit from this situation?

Have a great evening!

Janne

Relax Under Pressure

under-water-1819584_640.jpg

First stop and take a deep breath.

There are few important things in life and most of those are present in the moment. Therefore stop being so serious about everything. Sure you are important and whatever is it important, however if you are honest to yourself, is it really that important?

When we are under pressure, it means we have to deal with that pressure. If we choose to tackle it, our bodies and minds gets to a stressed state in order to deal with it. In other words stress helps our bodies and minds to prepare and deal with it. Stress in these cases is beneficial.

We are oscillating between stress and relaxation. Too much of either for prolonged time is no good. We should consciously also be mindful in which state we are and do we need to increase or decrease the stress for example.

We do not need to be stressed when we are about to rest.

We need psyche a bit up before giving a talk or meeting a client.

If we all would be zen masters, we could do this consciously at a right time. Since we are not, we have to learn ourselves to control our minds through our breathing or meditation for example.

Everything begin with breathing, so breathing is one of the most effective ways to tell our lizard brains should we increase or decrease the stress levels.

Learn to relax under pressure, and you won’t have another bleak day, because you know what is important and what’s not. Above all you are just in the state of mind where you want to be.

Skillful Way to Deal with Worry and Pressures of the Future

business-meeting-1702267_640.jpg

Real events are the best inspiration same goes for today’s writing: it took professional pressures to contemplate again on the worry and pressure.

With worry perhaps the most productive things that pop into my head are the words of Erma Bombeck: “Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere”

This reminds to me that all the solutions are in the present. It is in the present we must take real action, real progress and focus our thinking according to the circle of control.

Worry eases when something is in the circle of control. However, when things start to feel out of control, pressure builds up. Especially if there is something that we feel that we should succeed in (or not to fail at least). It’s challenging and saps our energy to start think about it.

Comforting thought is that, if our focus is correct (circle of control) and we do everything we can to the best we can, we have literally done everything we can. And I don’t mean in a self-deceitful way, but in planning what the effort is worth (time, energy, resources) and putting them to the realistic max. If the endeavor still fails, you know you gave it your all. Therefore, if you already at maximum stakes (= what you are willing to lose) failed, take the learning and be grateful that you didn’t lose more. You probably gain something in exchange in any case even if the “big win” didn’t come.

Mindful Listening

attend-1786090_640.jpg

We can be prisoners of our own narrative even while other people talk. I’ve noticed that not many people even hear the exact words what they are being told (especially under pressure). Instead listeners produce whatever they think.

Under pressure is where many biases of the mind are revealed.

It takes trained mind to see and listen objectively.

Practice is the way.

Try this: listen audio or even video of a speaker. Listen up until ten minutes and try to explain what they just said. Then repeat and see what they really said word for word then compare these two.

This is the reality gap. By mindful listening I mean the ability to hear what has been said as it is, this makes growth very fruitful, because you are able to process speech more objectively.

Why Do You Do What You Do?

question-mark-2492009_640.jpg

Yesterday evening I decided to clarify my vision after a long time and it was about time, because in fact I just had a starting point, not really a clear vision. Now I’ve a bit clearer picture, yet it could use more details and all the nice things.

Even more so was alarming that today I caught myself asking “why do I need to buy apartment again?”

For me the pressure to get my own place again stems from the need to continue my life after breakup.

This time I decided to think “what I am doing again” and “why.”  I tried to use the five why’s, which is great, however I noticed it was not in this case a perfect. Still using the questions and Socratic method got me quite far and I am rather satisfied with it.

So now, I began to get a bigger picture: next move depends on what I want to do as well as the why. Positive side of the pressure to do something is the freedom to figure out creative solutions.

From the birds eye perspective, the short term pain is acceptable, because I know that the long term why is being fulfilled.

So perhaps this questioning exercise of asking why do you do what you want to do is something you might wanna try next time you feel under pressure or confused.

Being Present Under Pressure

Life starts to be fun once you have the ability to enjoy each moment as it comes.

Each moment will present you with the challenge of finding something positive in it. In the end all events will make you stronger if not physically at least mentally and spiritually.

I was reminded of this last night as I bumped my feet to the corner of bed. Otherwise this isn’t dramatic, but it was the exactly same spot which I had injured earlier the other day. So now I had to adjust with new reality that I had again a bleeding feet.

Sometimes these minor or more major events requires us to calm down and adjust with the new reality. The only reality.

Dealing with it skilfully means strength and joy. The reason why we might suffer is because we still hang on to the previous sense of reality which simply is false now that the new reality took over.

The more quickly we can accept the present circumstances and see their value to the whole story the easier the life becomes to enjoy.

Why to Grow?

 summer-368224_640.jpg

While growth happens naturally until we reach adulthood, the potential does not really stop there at all. As we mature to the adulthood, most of us also are blessed enough out of the powerless state of a child, to a powerful state of an adult.

Power means the right to choose and make decisions. We make a lot of decisions through one day, we can choose between many alternatives which we categorize simply as “good” or “bad.” Misleading part with our simple categorization is that it’s too simple: good now might be really quick satisfaction, however once that quick satisfaction is gone then what? Was the decision still good?

We ought to make good decisions and take proactive actions today, in order to enjoy more tomorrow.

Necessity for growth comes from the external pressures of the nature. If we purely seek present comfort we are surprised by the winter, flood or any other random occurrence.

If we grow, we have more time and energy in our hands to prepare for the future, for the upcoming. We have more time and experience to make calculated decisions, and thus overall we will make better decisions.

External pressures put the stress of growth to us. Often times, when we forget this, relax and start to enjoy too comfortable lives a sudden change may break our reality all at once. It has happened before, great collapses do not necessarily come to those we are struggling in the storm, it might happen to those we are chilling in the calm.

Why Do I Choose to Grow and Develop Myself?

I used to be satisfied with the comfort of the day and perhaps even several days, weeks and months ahead. That used to be enough for me. It was too much to think about how one could take charge of the destiny (rest of the life). Yet that is exactly what I am currently planning to do, this is what I understand as a total responsibility over my life. Earlier I had understood responsibility very differently. Now I choose to take a very long and wide time perspective, taking account not only my own satisfaction, but that of others as well. These thoughts help me push myself to grow each day.

Each time I grow and learn, I get to keep part of it and share it with the world. World has taught me something which I get to keep, use and share further. So therefore each time I am striving to grow everybody gets something, a win-win deal.

Without the external pressure to grow as an adult then requires conscious effort and maybe even mental exertion.

So either internal conscious force, or external force can create the pressure required to grow.

I guess each of us requires different levels of pressure for an optimal performance: some perform better under extreme pressure while others collapse there. In any case, I guess we all need a bit pressure to get started?

“Whatever you see – any good results – are all from the pressure.” – Ziyi Zhang

Life is most satisfying when taking small steps to the right direction.

sunflower-1507956_640.jpg

Attitude of Personal Excellence

umbrella-1588167_640

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

Feeling of control in life makes life feel alright. Attitude towards the present circumstances we can choose it’s in our total control.

When under pressure, we can collapse under other peoples’ expectations or focus and fulfill our personal best. In the end our personal best is the very best we are capable of, so why to even ask for more?

In the end the personal best is what matters and doing that for the sake of doing, and not being distracted by the external.

“If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster, and treat those two imposters just the same…” — RUDYARD KIPLING

That is the path to our personal excellence, that excellence which matters and gives us meaning. Track to self-actualization means we are able perform close to which is our personal best, which will no doubt benefit others more than anything else as well.

Emotional control on hockey night

Today is the hockey night! World hockey championships where Finland meets Canada. With these kinds of events its’ good to remember where the highest form of happiness comes from.

Team sports are great in my opinion,  because it’s through team that strong individuals can express their strength and feel protected. Teams compete in culture,under pressure and thus they are able to rise to the highest levels. Team sports are safe for individuals because of this.

For observer there is a big trap to fall into: to identify too much with the team of admiration and association. Of course our lizard brain craves for association and gratification.

I think it’s important to remember what makes us really happy: it’s not about winning or losing once, there are much more higher forms of happiness. In the tradition four levels of happiness spectrum, where four is the highest and one is the lowest level, watching a hockey game would be around level two. So there is till ways to go!

However, now meanwhile we should watch the game, enjoy it despite of the results and work on our feelings from that point on wards.

Hyvä Suomi!

Go Canada!