Use Negative Swing to Create Positive Momentum

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Power of perspectives is so powerful, you can literally turn anything upside down and build upon the momentum. This applies in good and in bad. Usually people would rather have more of the good and less of the bad.

It’s completely within our power to decide how each event will serve us: is it a lesson or a burden. Masters find the lesson in everything and everyone. It’s sure to be there, if you look deep enough.

Then use those lessons to create habits.

Use those habits to create combinations of habits that shape your days.

Use those days to make your dreams reality.

Be Like a Storm!

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You are a force, like a storm.

For you get everything done in time,

Do not focus on what others whine,

Instead let the successes chime,

And all the good find!

 

To change the world, we just need to change one dark corner of it. And often that tiny dark corner is ourselves. It’s enough to change ourselves for the better. We do not need to worry or think about anyone else but ourselves.

How simple is that?

It’s simple, yet not easy. Who said it would be easy. It’s simple and doable, not easy.

What is in your control, what do you get to decide? Start with your attitude, how do you choose to react to what happens in your life? How do you respond to challenges?

Stop wishing for easy life, start getting smarter, stronger faster. It’s all in your power.

Start smiling for what you have!

Start focusing on what is right in the world, instead of finding the faults.

Start celebrating the small successes in bigger ways!

You have all the time what you need to do what is important, just cut the unimportant out of your life.

Be like a storm, make yourself known, make a name for yourself!

 

Thanks for reading, have a great day!

Janne

Finding the Positive in the Negative

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A reflective post about acquiring new, more constructive and positive thoughts.

Often by default we do not have the optimum thoughts, no matter how smart we think we are. We are our own programmers, so we write our own destiny, even though much of what we have running inside us is also adopted from the environment and upbringing for example.

However what would happen, if something went wrong or will go wrong along the way? Unless we learn the skill of unlearning bad thinking patterns, and replacing them with more skillful ones we are likely going to end up suffering a lot.

One such thinking pattern that I’ve had to confront in my life recently has to do with abundance.

About a year ago I read this book The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. Yet now as I’ve listened thoughts about the book through podcasts, I’ve understood that I remember quite a little from the book. I revisited my notes and I got excited: I have to read this book again. So what I did yesterday on Sunday was to purchase Audible edition, put the speed on 1.7X and listened almost the whole book in one sitting and made meticulous notes as the author himself was reading the book for me. This was absolutely brilliant way to spend my time, because on this time I picked up very much different things than on the first reading.

On the first time I read the book about a year ago there was literally too much to handle at a one time. We can only process one thought at a time anyway, so it wouldn’t make much sense to do more. On this time thought I was able to focus more on the content and how to apply it than during the first time.

Especially interesting concept are the upper limit problems, the kind of subconscious thinking through which we (our own ego) starts sabotaging us. This is also outlined in the book: Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday and widely in psychology as well. Idea is that, we are rather in familiar hell than unknown heaven. Our ego is afraid, and that’s why we would sabotage ourselves.

This is also the reason why Winston Churchill said that courage is the primary virtue, because nothing would happen if we would stay crippled by fear. In the book Hendricks quotes Fitz Perls that fear is excitement without breath and suggests that cure for fear is simply start breathing.

I picked up the success / abundance / love mantra that was introduced in the book, however what I found particularly useful was the thought that whenever something perhaps undesired happens, is to view it as just so that something wonderful must be happening. This is based on the idea that we are sabotaging ourselves, because we have reached an upper limit where we cannot ourselves to enjoy the good fortune. Therefore right place to shift the attention is to wonder what kind of wonderful things are going to happen next.

Let the Joy Be Seen and Heard

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Life is short, therefore we should live it joyfully and let the others be touched by the joy of living as well, so that we all may live happily. Joy is contagious.

I had the privilege to meet an enthusiast midwife, who told all kinds of stories from her profession. I admire and respect that profession, because they are at welcoming newborns into this world and working to make it as safe as possible. Often in such moments, one might whisper loving words into the ears of newborns and thus welcoming them to this world.

Each day should be celebrated with such love, hope and joy and soon as we can read this for example we can understand that although we shouldn’t focus blame or complain about other people not doing this, instead we should focus on instilling the joy of living into our lives and communicate that through our actions to others.

Joie de vivre, joy of living can be transferred into others through simple affirming smile or greeting for example. We can do this anywhere we go: work, bus or school for example. If you then add something positive and pleasant to the mix you will totally make someone’s day better.

Some of us cannot stand this positive talk, because they have a limiter in themselves that limits the amount of good feeling they allow themselves to feel. Gay Hendricks calls this the upper limit problem. We all have to work on our own upper limit problems, however by staying positive and happy you will certainly create more good to the environment than do bad.

You can become the example for joy of living in where ever you are at the moment. Enjoy the life you have now and let you be a positive voice and influence to the lives of many. Strengthen what is good and right in the world, if we do this, the life is unending chain of positive wishes even after it is all over 🙂

Positive Beliefs: Life is a Wonderful Adventure

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When you allow more positive beliefs to your life and reduce the limiting beliefs to your life, your daily experience will not be the same, ever.

Yesterday as I listened the Awaken the Giant Within abridged edition (to my disappointment). I did pick up quite a few useful thoughts from there. Mainly there was this idea about beliefs as tables and then there are these stories that either give the table more legs or take them away.

With limiting beliefs, we ought to question them and take some legs away.

With positive beliefs, we ought to strengthen them and add more legs to the table (reasons to believe). The stronger the references, the stronger we will believe them.

Positive beliefs allow us to live more fully, we are not limited by the unseen any longer. We allow us to be something we can be.

It’s an incredible realization to see that what you believe supports your reality. I am suggesting you to become a bit positive lunatic, not completely though.

Optimism is in itself about having positive illusions about life. This makes life worth living, even if this is partially true. Optimism in itself can be dangerous too as I’ve written before.

Martin Seligman, one of the founders of the positive psychology field and also a person who has developed something he calls “learned optimism” – which can be helped to cure people who have what he calls ‘learned helplessness’. It’s very interesting concept, where he also warns of the dangers.

Stock market crashes and too overly optimism is not a good thing. Then our decisions are not based on the reality at all, but to our illusions.

With the positive beliefs, I believe we can though questioning find right mix of realism and joy of life. Life has more to offer to us than we think and we have more to offer to the life than we can imagine. That’s why we need optimism and positive beliefs.

Questions are a good tool to sharpen the thinking, and with this we can test if the reasons and references for our beliefs are true or not. By doing this the questioning exercise often enough, we quickly notice that the negative beliefs are not worth it. Positive beliefs combined with actual gratefulness makes life really joyful.

List your positive beliefs about yourself and the world.

Then make another list about the negative beliefs.

I did this exercise yesterday and  I noticed that most of the negative beliefs that popped up didn’t make much sense. I started writing right away reasons that these are actually causing more pain than any good to me and I started to distance myself to these thoughts.

At the same time, I started seeking more positive beliefs. In fact since my imagination was only limited, I could come up with a few good ones, yet I felt lacking something. Then I tried googling and right away for example this list of 100 positive beliefs comes handy, you can take a belief or two from there that really resonate with you and make it your own.

Life is a wonderful adventure,

Janne

Exciting Life

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Uncertainty can be a torment or bliss.

When you grow and adopt growth mindset, you’ll start to invest more which means taking risk and working to reduce the chances of failure. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Uncertainty is always present.

Then at times, you’ll know you will probably win. Or you will know something will probably happen and you’ll start thinking how could you use that something to your and everyone’s advantage.

When you grow, you’ll learn. Through the learning you’ll see. When you see the future as exciting potential you are living an exciting life. Every morning starts to be exciting, because exciting opportunities start to appear here and there.

Suddenly your attention is not on what whet wrong, but what can potentially go right. Of course your still work the basics right and work to reduce the risks, but you will start to see the potentials.

Seeing the potential, and living the potential to something it could become, something more or something surprising is what makes life exciting.

 


Some thoughts, that life should be exciting. Exciting takes work, we need to learn to see the exciting and the potential. Or that’s at least the path I’ve had to walk: to see all the potential.

 

BR,

Janne

Thousand times more

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How would you feel after being 1000-times courageous, would you be more courageous?

How would you feel after you would show caring 1000-times would you be more caring?

What would you know if you would read a 1000 books?

What about after writing 1000 books?

I achieved my reading goal of 40 books for this year on Sunday and I began to ponder what would be meaningful endeavor next. Instead of setting just merely next year goal, which certainly will be part of my bigger thinking, I remembered from the concept of 1000 times more from coaching session with Vesa Honkanen  and I thought the 1000 times is a pretty awesome concept.

It might be interesting to visualize a bit what would doing 1000 times more mean and what could the results be. One of the most energizing thoughts I had would be 1000 times more positive – what would that mean and be?

This reminds me of 1000 awesome things by Neil Pasricha. That’s certainly 1000 more awesome than before. I didn’t know the name of broccoflower before I read his 1000th awesome thing, before that I called it “fractal thing.”

I just may start the 1000 positive things, it feels like my thing anyway.

 

How would you feel for taking an extra step for thousand days, how would you feel?

Virtue is the Purpose of Life

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Doing good, doing the right thing in whatever position you are in life is the purpose of life according to the Stoics. Take responsibility of your soul, of what you can do, because that’s all you can do.

Do not judge, writes Marcus Aurelius.

Do not judge, always seek to praise were Abraham Lincolns words according to Dale Carnegie in How to Win Friends and Influence People.

Virtue is doing the right thing when we have the freedom to choose otherwise. Marcus Aurelius is fascinating example of this, because he was the emperor of the known world, ruler with absolute power. Yet he was living in virtue.

Trying to put this to the scope of personal life: should I discard all my desires I ask myself again? Then I remember the difference between a desire, lust and a positive desire.

What causes us to be virtuous? What causes positive desires?

Sigmund Freud suggests that it may be sublimation. Something negative we have done earlier in life may cause to turn into something major positive later in life.

Reflecting on my own past, I certainly feel that the reason I contemplate so much on the virtues, what is right and best for everyone is because I feel that when I was younger I wasn’t very good example. Due to that earlier experience I certainly want to go to the opposite direction as fast as I can, which is a very positive.

We want to progress and above all we want to be something more than we were before. As stoics put it, at least we should try to be better than animals. And the way to do that is through civilizing ourselves and taking responsibility of our souls. By putting our values to work and working from where we are now.

 

Further info

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius

Marcus Aurelius on Wikipedia

Marcus Aurelius Lecture on Stoicism

Freud on: Sublimation

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

What We Focus on Grows

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What we focus on grows, this is such a powerful thought! Essentially anything that we give our attention to strengthens. Anything we put our conscious thoughts, will grow stronger.

I.e. if we feed our thoughts about tiredness, those thoughts will strengthen. In the same way, if we focus to what has gone well, we positive feelings that come through it amplify and will last longer.

Applying this to the real world: how much positive feedback do you give? Precise actions and numbers please! I noticed some weeks back, how easy it is for us to think the feedback as something mainly negative to give when something goes wrong. I met some other passengers on the bus that only intended to give complaints.

Woken up by the thought I thought I must also try to give more positive feedback on every possible occasion. Positive feedback strengthens and grows that which works. Naturally strengthening what works is a far better approach than nagging about what doesn’t work.

In fact a good tip that I just picked up from the How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Caernegie is to always praise first. Of course the point is to find genuine praise, which is possible by learning to find things that are genuinely praise worthy.

That which we focus on strengthens. We will find more positive if we direct our attention through the positive.

Strikethrough the Unwanted and Ask How Instead

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Words reflect our thinking. If we rephrase our words, we also reprogram our thinking.

Some examples:

  • Limiting “best known result” – If we too much limit our thinking by setting the best possibility that ever has existed in our reality, we may not be able to think broadly and imaginatively. We hamper our own and the growth of others.
  • Impossibilities “It can’t be done”, “I can’t afford it” – easy trap to fall into is to say something can’t be done. It has never been about it can be done. Much more productive is to ask how it can be done?
  • Negatives – swear words and in general anything that evokes the negative feelings. It can also be the tone of voice, i.e. yelling or screaming.
  • Distractions “I’ll do this later…” – effective way to decide is to ask yourself, when is this?

To practice these, notice the thoughts, write the thought down, strikethrough and replace it with smarter way to say it.

Janne