Set Exciting and Empowering Goals

musician-664432_640.jpg

Did you know it takes just about the same effort to be mediocre and awesome? Well I hadn’t thought about it that much, until now I realized this through listening Success Through Positive Mental Attitude by Napoleon Hill.

Let’s say remaining mediocre means you can remain in your comfort zone and does not require much mental effort. In real effort through, which does feel better: accomplishing mediocre goals or accomplishing awesome goals?

Set goals that empower and make you feel excited about life. Do not think in terms of what you can or cannot, instead set the goal first and let the excitement fill you. Good goals should energize you each day.

Keep the goal in mind and start thinking how you could do it. Your subconscious starts to work on that. Keep the goal visible, so that you can each morning ask yourself how I can do it, what can I do for today?

Setting exciting and empowering goals, will energize you to think different and in the end make you achieve those goals.

Today utopia, tomorrow flesh and blood as Victor Hugo said.

If you want to dive deeper into energizing goal setting I recommend listening Awaken the Giant Within Abridged edition by Tony Robbins. It’s just 1h and 30 minutes and you will get to set four of your major life goals in a guided manner.

Don’t Think You Know

Presentation-Flipchart-Present-Label-Board-Leaf-2537709.jpg

To learn, one must be willing to learn without expiration date.

Magic of the learning happens with the attitude of openness, humility and curiosity. The best are awake and trying to constantly learn.

First thing is the preparation: those who are eager to learn are also prepared, both mentally and physically. Have you ever tried to absorb knowledge with an empty stomach?

Even if we recognize something we rarely know.

Even if we know something well enough to teach it, there still comes up something to learn.

So where exactly the learning stops? Answers is, it doesn’t. The road to mastery is the passionate learning and practice every day until the end of days.

Surrender yourself to the learning and make a note of everything, not just the parts what are highlighted and require. Often in the coaching people just write or draw what is being drawn to the flipchart, even though 90% of the themes spoken are not being drawn or demonstrated anywhere. So why record only 10?

Mostly this is due to laziness and lack of herd behavior to support to writing. Yet Even if you would attentively listen and write half of the references that come up, you would be way better off that most. Then if you would actually study those books and examples mentioned in during the training you would probably be in the top 10%.

Most importantly you would be actually learning.

First Steps in Getting to Where You Want to Be

walking-2635038_640.jpg

Obvious place to start, where ever you are going to is where you are. Are you sure, you know exactly where you are?

In life, I often meet people who describe their efforts or the results of the effort with words such as “little”, “a lot”, “plenty”… This is not very accurate thinking at all. If you do something, you should quantify that. I.e. in my professional work, where we meet people “I met three people today”, it’s much more accurate than “I met a few people.”

In the end the entropy called laziness will find a comfort zone and then the decay of efforts and results begins.

Start with accurate thinking, where are you now? What is the effort towards your goal as action? How much of that action you willing to take taking a day / a week / a month / a year?

This will create more accurate expectations for yourself and in the big picture does help you measure real progress as well.

You Are the Beginning of Your Story

background-2009159_640.jpg

Start by acknowledging who and where you are. What you are feelings? Note you are not your feelings, or you are not your thoughts either.

What do you want to do? What are you telling yourself about that what you want to do? What kind of story are you telling to others about what you want to do.

That story which we tell; decides what we can do. You could rewrite that story if you wanted.

As an example I noticed seemingly harmless story to repeat to myself and to others where I would say that I’ve outsourced my memory to writing. The original intentions may’ve been a momentary comedy relief, however whenever stories are repeated they start to hold on to others meanings as well. With mindful introspection I started to think that this story has been particularly convenient excuse for whenever I’ve been too lazy to put the conscious effort to recall and explain.

The story that was maybe spontaneously created, started to seem so good to that I’ve got to the habit of using it. Unconsciously formed habits do not come without downsides: the motivation to use this particular story comes from desire to save energy. While that might be alright some of the time, there are also cases where I would be better serving my purpose actually bothering to recall and use mental effort have meaningful dialogue.

With a bit of space and time, we observe ourselves and become mindful of our stories. When we recognize the mental, emotional states we are in and where we would like to be with these stories we can write better ones. Better stories serve everyone and your story can become part of our story.

Love Creates the Abundance in Life, Love and Relationships

 

love-1792306_640.png

In life there is growth and the opposing force entropy. With growth conditions must be right for the seeds to be planted, nurtured, and grown, until finally the plants might bear flowers or fruits. The fruits of growth are plentiful, always sprawling more to this world like infinite fractal… World of growth is a world of plenty.

Growth requires attention, effort and a lot of energy. In human relations to love, is to nurture and to make the growth possible. Dr. Scott M. Peck defines love as action.

“The principal form that the work of love takes is attention. When we love another we give him or her our attention; we attend to that person’s growth.” – Dr. Scott M. Peck – The Road Less Travelled

He also defines that the antithesis of love is laziness.

We can choose either to care or not to care. To care, is to love and not to care is the entropy.

To have a meaning in life; I think the first option is more enticing. That what we see beautiful, valuable and right, we should want to see to grow. Attention is limited, but with it these things for example will prosper.

Therefore I think I first and foremost task is to discover our inner values and purpose. With these in mind we can begin to direct our attention and love more skillfully.

There are over seven billion people in the world. Going about our tasks alone does not make much sense. I know personally how difficult it can be to find, build and nurture the kind of relationships to aid in this journey.

I would think of the journey in with the band metaphor: first we should find a merry band to practice with, in a band we are creating more than just anyone we could do alone… Then depending on our relationship skills either we stick with that what feels good or at some point of our life try a single career. At this point we express how we have grown with the band and what we’ve learned.

All in all, the way I see life, is how well we can do in these relationships. Can we find friends, spouse or even “the band” and then have fulfilling relationships in all areas of life?

Scott M. Pecks definitions of love and laziness apply to human relationships above all. Love takes effort, and attention must be given if we wish to nurture the relationship and let it come to the full bloom.

Who knows how many fruit gardens are in one seed if nurtured properly?

What Kind of Story Prevents You From Being You?

hacker-2077138_640.jpg

I’ve forgiven myself for most of my regrets that I’ve caused for myself up until this age of 29. Forgiving gives always chance to move forward.

Living life with no regrets is cliché, that is fine if it were possible. Yet sometimes we do make decisions that obviously are stupid retrospectively, yet we do them and judge ourselves.

In the past I’ve had quite a bunch of roadblock beliefs. I.e. I was just considering time around ten years ago, somewhere around the time I first heard about Trainers’ House Growth Academy. Yet I did not have the identity back then to follow it up, and other beliefs as well as actual laziness.

Yet in the end, as had cleared some of these identity hurdles I did decide to take the leap or should I say charge of faith and decide not to complain, instead focus to take the chances what I’ve. This led me to apply for the Trainers’ House Growth Academy seven years later and commute for about three hours in a day total.

The price to pay has been totally worth it and more. Not only I feel like I am square with my beliefs, I feel I’ve paid the price and it has made me so strong in the process. That does not happen just any day.

Pay close attention to what kind of stories you tell yourself about what you can or cannot do. Either way you say, you are right.

Do not settle for anything less than you feel you can do.

 

 

Decision Making Tool: Net Gain or Loss

in-wheat-field-1597162_640.jpg

 In the past few months as I’ve had time to read a lot, I’ve been thinking that most of our habits can be broken down to a daily net gain or net loss:

  • With personal finances, money this is very easy: if you earn and keep more than you spend you are saving up money. Would you be happier if you would have more wealth?
  • Same concept applies to health, however instead of clear numbers we get better health, fitness both of which are hard to appreciate until they are gone. Would you be happier with better health?
  • Did you progress towards your goal today? If not, when will you?

“Ultimately there is only the one impediment, and that is laziness.” – Peck, M. Scott, The Road Less Travelled

Simply by setting measurable goals, and asking yourself what you can do today for that goal you will know what can and must be done. Then it’s the matter of doing that small thing. Make each day a net gain in your life.

Work is a Vehicle to Our Dreams

adventure-1845719_640.jpg 

I started my new year in unlikely ways in a party and when I wake up I realize I’ve slept through half of the day. To me this was once in a year occasion and therefore felt out of character since it has been a while. Because of this different kind of experience, I felt my clarity on my life for the upcoming year to sharpen: I am willing to sacrifice for my purpose and my purpose has meaning to me.

I have a plan and I am willing to work for that plan, I feel like the completely opposite of that feeling about six months ago, when I wrote the Ode to the Laziness. As I read glanced through the text yesterday, I had managed to capture essence of something great in that text: laziness is connected to the meaninglessness of the action.

In life, there is resistance to do what would benefit us. Resistance does exist and sometimes is exceedingly strong, so that we even fail to see the relevance of taking action.

Failing to see the relevance of actions is the main cause of meaninglessness. We all yearn for meaning, accomplishing or taking steps towards that meaning create emotions of fulfillment, joy and fun.

There is nothing wrong with the feeling of laziness. It is merely telling us that, we lack understanding of where we are, where we want to go and knowledge of are we truly progressing that direction?

While answering these questions might feel very frustrating, doing fun things to distract ourselves from these questions is not really an answer either. Now with the power of retrospective wisdom I know that there are two types of fun: fun that we do to distract ourselves from the meaningful and the fun and joy that comes from progressing towards the meaning.

I prefer the second one to the first one any day. Therefore, I am willing to sacrifice the first one all the times for the second one.

Any dream can be turned into a goal, and for any goal there is something we can do today. Doing that something for the goal, could be then called work.

Clarify your dream. Dare to dream. Break it down into goals and break those goals into actions. Take up upon those actions and work on them each day with a smile in your face, because you are in fact progressing towards your dreams.

What is holding you back? Most commonly people complain about lack of resources.

In the book, Richest Man in the Babylon, George Clason suggests a simple cure for the lean purse: make habit of it to keep 10 % of your monthly earnings to yourself. Keep the 10% and make it work for you. This simple thought itself, is enough to create resources for you.

This alone will motivate you eventually to work harder, because hard work creates surplus for everyone.

What do you deem worthwhile in life? I am sure that many of the things you do today, can help you progress towards that worthwhile goal.

Sometimes we forget that our actions matter in our own journeys to the worthwhile goals and dreams. Remembering is important. Remember why, make it crystal clear. Write it down, somewhere where you inevitably see it each morning.

We need to remember the most important things. Only way to remember is to remind ourselves.

Remember: work is the vehicle to our dreams.

Bond of love and growth

sunflower-1209386_1920

Yesterday I wrote about importance of positive experience for our own health, growth and sense of life purpose. The mentality that allows invest in ourselves is beginning the capacity to love.

We are not talking now about the romantic infatuation phase which is sometimes understood as love

Let’s use the definition of Scott M. Peck, the author of Road Less Traveled, defines love as an action or activity. The love he talks about is a conscious choice to love and make effort for the future of that relationship.

When we invest in ourselves through positive experiences, we are growing, reinforcing and strengthening ourselves, essentially we are becoming source of strength like Peck also in his book suggests.

Peck writes “In the case of genuine love the aim is always spiritual growth.”

First naturally our focus needs to be our own growth, and when we are strong enough we should extend our love for others growth.

According to Peck greatest enemy is the laziness taken to the extreme in both love and growth.

The cure against laziness

In Sakyong Mipham, Tibetan Buddhist monk identifies in his book ‘Turning the mind into an ally’ (2003) there that there are four cures in ancient texts against laziness.  These four cures with explanation from Wikipedia kausidya article are :

  • Suppleness: involves being curious, having a sense of appreciation and imaginatio
  • Trust: develops from experiencing the benefits of meditation practice
  • Aspiration: is trust with a sense of determination
  • Effort: an engaged mind that moves toward the act of meditation.

Furthermore Buddhist wisdom suggests the recollection of death, to cause sense of urgency to act:

Today the effort should be made,

Who knows if tomorrow Death will come? — MN 131.

 

Ode to the laziness

kitty-491013_1280

Summer vacation is a strange break from the ordinary work, that it allows us not to do things for a while.

Change is good for the mind for sure, yet as we’ve recovered our strength what then? Is it okay to just be? Isn’t that lazy?

Exactly the word laziness is today’s theme, a word that has such a strong response from the Google. I get quotes such as:

  • Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. – Jules Renard
  • Run away from laziness; work hard. Touch intuition and listen to the heart, not marketing directors. Dream. – Alber Elbaz
  • Laziness may appear attractive, but work gives satisfaction. – Anne Frank
  • Laziness is a secret ingredient that goes into failure. But it’s only kept a secret from the person who fails. – Robert Half
  • A life of leisure and a life of laziness are two things. There will be sleeping enough in the grave. – Benjamin Franklin
  • When we hold back out of laziness, that is when we tie ourselves into knots of boredom. – Walter Annenberg

On the image side I see dozens of more quotes, about the same thing: successful people rejecting the whole idea of laziness.

Definition of laziness according to the free dictionary would be not willing to work [1].  Dictionary.com describes lazy as averse or disinclined to work, activity or exertion [2].

With these definitions it’s no wonder successful people who have worked very hard and so dismissive against the concept that is the opposite of working.

I would like to question the status of work as the holy grail these successful people are claiming it to be.

Work is really useful and necessary, when we have some kind of idea what we are doing. However, work does not need to be all the time the kind of necessary evil. Part of it always will be, yet as a greater part it can get something closer to the play it is is supposed to be.

True laziness is when we are lazy doing things we truly enjoy doing. Doing things we do not enjoy doing is not laziness, it’s just the resistance. Sometimes doing what we don’t want to be doing can be beneficial, sometimes harmful.

Laziness is such a concept that it’s really hard to find any more positive words to describe it. I.e. yesterday as I was reading Quora, I found a magnificent way to look & find your hidden talents. Today as I looked at the table there again, if by any chance there would be laziness there and it would’ve be somehow transformed into something positive, the result was a disappointing no, there was not.

Next I started Googling and I did not find as much positive about laziness, as I would’ve liked. As I said, I agree with that the work is really important. However, laziness in a way is a human tendency and therefore it should also serve some higher purpose. Despite it being a deadly sin, I say that the feeling of laziness when you are supposed to be doing something just happens to give a signal that you are doing the wrong thing. We never feel lazy about doing the right thing.

Desire for comfort and rest to the excess are different from the feeling of laziness. To feel lazy means not to want to exert oneself on the particular task, it does not mean that you do not want to do anything.

Motivations is born inside us, when we’ve interesting things to do we also find the energy and acceptance to work.

Laziness is reluctance to do the particular work, not all the work. When we find something meaningful to do we are not feeling lazy anymore, then we feel like playing instead of working.

Oh and by the way I happened to see some people who have also found value in the laziness:

  • Things come in a quieter way to me. It’s not laziness, and it’s not diffidence. I just know how far you have to bend for work. That’s important for me. – John Hurt
  • The three chief virtues of a programmer are: Laziness, Impatience and Hubris. – Larry Wall
  • Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability.  – Sam Keen
  • Laziness works. And the simple way to incorporate its health benefits into your life is simply to take a nap. – Tom Hodgkinson
  • I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it. – Bill Gates

To conclude, I think laziness as a emotion tells us to change up something to find something that has more meaning to ourselves. Something that feels like play, because play is what we should do more. Even doing nothing is sometimes really good, because at least we are not getting in the way of things as we are usually. Call that meditation, enlightenment or whatever you will.

Lazy person should have a great ability to identify the most fun to get out of the comfort zone through play. Life should be fun too.

 

[1] http://www.thefreedictionary.com/laziness

[2] http://www.dictionary.com/browse/lazy