Yesterday I was lucky enough to attend coaching by Jari Sarasvuo. It was all powerful experience as ever, as I linked a lots of the things that he talked about to my own life and observations of it.
One particular things that I highlihted today upon on writing down the notes to my computer was statement the present misery is result of the wasted future. Jari was talking about identity stress about how our perceived self and real self are in struggle.
I would like to observe a smaller portion of this phenomenon now. Here is the thing: essentially most of our problems occur because we did not take skillful action in the past. If we would’ve taken skillful action in the past, we would have more skills, more experience and less and less problems coming at us. Instead we would get more opportunities and yet we would challenge ourselves to learn more in order to keep the edge.
Present however is a tricky state, we often think we can in the future, however in present our minds take the easy way out in order to conserve energy. We often have less conscious capacity than we think, or our lives are consuming more conscious energy than we think. Either case the trouble is that we do not have the necessary energy to bring results on the table.
Time flows, we never be as young as we are today. It’s about to do something you already now. It’s time to prioritize and make those priorities unconditional.
Jari noted in yesterday’s coaching as well as on Monday’s podcast that the succesful people are internally ambivalents and exterially bivalents. So their inner worlds have all kinds of shades and colors, while the external action is either yes or no. You show up on time or not. You either drink or not.
I am quite fascinated by this idea. Now I’ve begun to make observations about my life. Most important choices are bivalent like, I take the stairs, we cook at home, I write journal & meditate. Then there are a few habits that are more negotiable. For example tea drinking, which I quit on a whim to reduce the negative effects that tea has. Most of the time I don’t drink, or feel like drinking, however some morning when I am obliged to start writing I might exchange cup or two of tea for an article.
The key to get more bivalent is to have high priority, commitment and determination to the habit. Once you decide something, stick with it for as long as you can, until you start doing it without thinking about it.
Human mind has willpower or conscious capacity, so we need to get through one significant change at a time.
Let your new habit take a root of your identity. Don’t get discouraged by failure, we are not our failures after all. Think of failure as a stepping stone to the platform where your real identity waits you.