Decision You Make, Make You!

battle-1846807_640.jpg

 

We have limited attention. Our ability to prioritize this attention is one of the few things we can truly control and is one of our primary sources to gain more power from the world.

Great decision making means you can have more of what you really need. You will have all the time in the world for the most important things. Decision making is powerful: not only does it mean commitment to do something, but also decision not to do something.

Decision you make, sharpen your focus, you will get more productive. Through deciding what to do, you decide what you become!

Decide wisely.

What If…

…You are capable?

…You have the energy?

…You could see things through?

…There is hope?

Be careful where you direct your attention. We often have more answers, solutions, actions and decisions within our reach than we see that there are. We could get better results by doing things differently and asking for other people to help us to do these things in better ways.

Do Each Moment the Most Important Thing

bible-1867195_640.jpg

If you do each moment the most important thing for the day, you will have done everything by the end of the day.

Ask yourself once every hour, what is the most important thing at the moment? Time is the only leverage we really have, we better start using it to the important things.

When we direct our attention to the important we may not get necessarily more things done, but we get that which is important done and that’s all that matters in life.

I’ve been trying to practice asking myself about the important things for about a year now. Yet the breakthrough happened quite recently when I realized that if I just do the important things I am done, I do not need anything else.

With this thought I get:

My work done.

My exercise done.

My writing done.

My reading & studying done.

Preparation for the next day done.

A good night sleep.

What more I could ask?

 

Determine what’s important for you.

The Happiness Equation: book highlights

sunset-1226113_640.jpg

Out of 34 books I’ve read this year and out of 36 that I read last year, there are few gems in there. Among all the books, one that makes almost any day better for me is the Happiness Equation: Want Nothing + Do Anything = Have Everything by Neil Pasricha.

Yesterday I reviewed my notes thoroughly and they made me so deep impact that I ought to share the main points with you today.

“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future”

Life is happening now, we must learn to be present is the present for a reason. To be more present, mindfulness is a good practice it makes us happy and success follows happiness. Be happy first.

Distractions in life are major obstacles for happiness. Like we are in the present, we shouldn’t focus to external goals, but to internal drivers. Internal motivation is a driver of excellence. Happy people do things, because they are happy and interested about doing things.

While external motivations can get ourselves distracted, it is only our own judgements and criticism that often makes us discouraged and sad.

Buddha says, “You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

Be happy first, and start with yourself. You are worthy of attention, love and affection. We cannot control most of what happens in life, however we can control how we react to it.

So now we have the groundwork covered. Next is the difficult part: the purpose, the work and social life. To put it shortly, we are social animals and we need social context. We should work in something where we can increase our collective happiness. As it is pointed out: giving is the simply best way to increase your own happiness. Doing good for others.

We need to stay active with the giving and kindness as well, here we get to the purpose or what is described in the book as ikigai. Never retire, what you do not use you lose: this applies to happiness, your brain and your health as well.

Like Gandhi said: “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”

I ought to read the whole book again soon and I recommend it to you too.

What We Focus on Grows

glasses-2861368_640.jpg

What we focus on grows, this is such a powerful thought! Essentially anything that we give our attention to strengthens. Anything we put our conscious thoughts, will grow stronger.

I.e. if we feed our thoughts about tiredness, those thoughts will strengthen. In the same way, if we focus to what has gone well, we positive feelings that come through it amplify and will last longer.

Applying this to the real world: how much positive feedback do you give? Precise actions and numbers please! I noticed some weeks back, how easy it is for us to think the feedback as something mainly negative to give when something goes wrong. I met some other passengers on the bus that only intended to give complaints.

Woken up by the thought I thought I must also try to give more positive feedback on every possible occasion. Positive feedback strengthens and grows that which works. Naturally strengthening what works is a far better approach than nagging about what doesn’t work.

In fact a good tip that I just picked up from the How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Caernegie is to always praise first. Of course the point is to find genuine praise, which is possible by learning to find things that are genuinely praise worthy.

That which we focus on strengthens. We will find more positive if we direct our attention through the positive.

The Limitations of Our Attention and the Cure

fantasy-2861107_640.jpg

We have limited attention, we can only be at a one place at a given time and we can only focus to one person or a task at a time. In this sense we are rather limited.

Because of our limited nature, we should also be forgiving for those who wrong us and merciful towards ourselves, who cannot always meet our expectations. At very least we can learn at the end of the day and move forward slightly smarter than we were previously on today.

Humans have deep desire for attention and desire. Attention is the currency of power and love. We realize this as children that we are not the center of the world and we are not really omnipotent either. From there on we are seeking for some kind of drought for this deprivation.

A cure that cannot be given, unless we are first willing to give it to others.

How do you treat that who has no power above you? That is the measure of our being. We get that wellbeing which we create to our environment.

It’s not even the ill words that hurt us, it is when we get no attention at all. Yet do not hold grudge to those who ignore you by purpose or without purpose, because most likely they have no purpose they are merely not mindful. And if it was on purpose, who would like to have the attention of such person anyway as it would only mean trouble?

Being present and forgiveness are the cures for our deprivation of attention. We must first administer what we wish to have.

Attention Makes Us Thrive

seal-2469335_640.jpg

Attention is the currency of love and power.

As humans we literally crave for attention. Lack of attention is worse than negative attention.

Attention to people doesn’t cost any money, yet this is one of the most easily overlooked sides of leadership. Attention does take time and caring effort.

It’s not money, luxuries or drugs we care, it’s attention and caring.

It’s hard for us to admit it, however it is so.

I think the way to give the attention is the caring way. It’s at least better than the denying angry or upset way. Because in the end all of us crave for the attention at least the caring way is a  very nice to give the attention.

Two Superpowers: Accepting the Circumstances and Focusing to What is in Your Control

sunset-2530165_640.jpg

I was writing my life story today morning and I realized a pattern emerge: Whenever I’ve accepted present, taken responsibility and focused to do my best in the given circumstances I’ve ended up well.

Sometimes grass is greener other times. Other times it isn’t. You yourself have a hunch, are you just escaping the responsibilities of the present, or is the present influence negative to you. You have to search inside your heart for these answers. Once you know, you probably know if the present actually could be improved significantly just by assuming massive responsibility of the situation.

I’ve been in such situations often and I still end up being. As example, last spring there was a project I felt completely miserable with. When I noticed that something is wrong, I am focusing my effort to things that are not under my control. Then I decided to refocus my attention to what I can do. With this my thoughts clicked, and I began to do my best in what is under my control. The sense of control was restored and I began to feel better.

Sometimes our attention wanders off to wrong things, or we get caught off guard with something which we need to process: accept what is and find our circle of control where to focus to.

I have been in so lucky in life, that I’ve learned to recognize the negative influences to my life and find good influences. In environment of good influences, it is merely I that needs to grow into acceptance, responsibility and focus.

Only once we accept our circumstances we can begin to improve those. We should only focus to what is in our control, otherwise we gonna burn out or get depressed.

Listening to Improve Our Will and Focus

Today as I was reading upon Road Less Travelled by Dr. Scott M. Peck I got reminded again of the importance of listening.

Deep listening does take effort. I remember when I was first listening Jari Sarasvuo speaking and even with all focus I could muster most of what he said didn’t seem to click or connect in my understanding. I still feel like I learned a lot and I wrote down as much notes as I could. I still hold have the notes and through them I can partially recall points he made.

After the lecture I was amazed also that some people who didn’t seem to put much effort in listening seemed to be disappointed.

Although becoming great speaker and thinker is a one thing, to get anything we would need to become great listeners as well because only in the combination with thinking for example we can start to cocreate something greater.

Listening takes effort, however exactly through that effort you will develop greater capacity for other cognitive skills such as attention and focus as well.

Attention is Our Might

il-2028946_640.jpg

Deep down, we crave for attention. Attention is the currency of love and power.

What makes life so difficult, is that we do not recognize our own might. We crave something, which makes fools of ourselves in the process.

We do not need the titles of kings and queens, gods or goddesses to have such like powers. When we are given life, we are destined to become the creators of our lives. This creation begins which the consciousness and ability to choose how to respond to that feedback which life constantly gives us.

The cognitive ability to choose our emotional response what makes human.

What will be the definition of homo sapiens? We can still influence this. Will it be the being who found the way, or lost the way?

How you will use your attention, will contribute to this definition and to the story of our species. Recognizing that all the power is in the present moment and how you will use each moment will determine everything.

We should direct majority of our attention to the present moment, because that is the source of our love and power. When we love ourselves, we become more lovable. When we do good to others, they will want to reciprocate.

World is abundant place when we start to see everything that is available in the present moment.