Resistance is a Growth Opportunity

 

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Resistance might mean resistance to change. However, the more we feel resistance the more potential we have to grow. It does not have to be in a leap, although it could be.

It’s only through resistance and challenge that we can grow from. If there is no resistance present, then we are not in position to learn much either. Too much comfort stunts the growth.

Therefore when we notice resistance to do something, we know we have a lot of potential for growth in that area. Most of the growth in the area can come from simple acknowledgement and opening up to possibilities.

With resistance comes often denial: we start to decline opportunities. What if we would say yes instead, what’s the worst thing that can come from learning and trying something new? You are likely to learn something.

Resistance is a kind of invitation to explore and grow. Instead of locking up with resistance, be mindful and acknowledging: see it as an opportunity to grow now or in near future 🙂

Growth. Something in physical terms would mean to increase in size or mass. In emotional terms it would probably means mature response versus immature response. In spiritual terms, I don’t know. In intellectual terms it would perhaps mean better performance in a quiz or test.

Around 2007 I found the idea of conscious growth from Steve Pavlina’s blog and around 2009 I think I’ve been practicing daily.

Growth is always in relation to who are and where we want to be. We cannot compare ourselves to anyone else and we shouldn’t. Bill Gates would have said that comparing yourself to anyone else is an insult to yourself.

To grow then, we would need an understanding of our present state, to understand that we are but in the beginning of our journey.

To grow, we need to accept that we are all beginners. Masters are the masters at this skill, humility.

Humility opens up the mind for learning. So the way to grow is to start a fresh.

Good luck!

Janne

11 Questions to Reduce Hurry and Worry

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When you start to teach people about something, it gives you yourself more pressure to be example as well. This is mostly positive thing, because then you start deepen your relationship with the things you are teaching. Often this deepening means that you are thinking what you are teaching learning at the same time from different perspectives.

What I learned this morning about feeling of hurry is this: hurry is just lack of preparation.

This means, if we feel hurry, we have failed to anticipate the stuff we are stressing about presently.

What helps here is to accept the present circumstances and prioritize and think what is truly important, and how important. It’s through prioritization only way that we can live through our commitments and learn to make commitments that are most relevant to us.

Uncertainty makes life difficult. Or life is suffering like the Buddha came to understand.

The ability to accept these and to have a set of thinking skills in the present help to handle almost anything that happens and still live a worthwhile life.

Do not be affected by hurry.

Here are some helpful questions to cope:

  1. Do I have any problems right now?
  2. What is the most important priority right now?
  3. Am I doing my best?
  4. Is there something I or we can do?
  5. What would be the first step forward?
  6. What’s the worst thing that can happen?
  7. What is positive about this situation?
  8. Is the worst thing that can happen?
  9. Is this the end of the world?
  10. What is the upside?
  11. How to benefit from this situation?

Have a great evening!

Janne

Freedom From and Responsibility To

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With increased power, comes increased responsibility. The moment we forget this, our good deeds start to decay and growth halts.

Victor Frankl said it well that freedom and responsibility go hand in hand. Responsibility is a topic that is too little talked and pondered about.

Once we understand our responsibility and are willing to exert ourselves for it, we gain actual freedom. Freedom to organize the necessary resources to attain a particular goal in life.

There is no freedom, when there is no responsibility.

Leader is willing to accept responsibility of things that they are not directly responsible.

We are all leaders. If we want to be great leaders we need to strive for more responsibilities. Then at times, when everything is alright going as it should we may enjoy our freedom. Usually this does not last very long thought or if it does, then you’ve masterfully trained more leaders.

Anticipate Needs, Accept and Fulfill Them

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Life becomes very satisfying when we realize that our needs are met through other people. We are often too blind for our own needs, we simply live our own life every day and thus cannot see the bigger picture very well. Other people we meet on the other hand can start to see a lot better than ourselves the ways what do we rebeally need in life.

It is through others that we can satisfy our needs at high levels.

I want to add, that we may have the wisdom about ourselves to know the difference between a need and a want. We may even understand that we do not need much. It’s about there where our understanding about the needs tend to get blurred. Often our greatest needs are social needs, because we are really social beings.

As example, much of the feeling of safety comes from group and society. Feeling of belonging as well. Even feeling of meaning and purpose: doing good to others and to the whole society at large.

When we become good at anticipating needs of others and also our own our life becomes meaningful. Our purpose literally becomes anticipating and fulfilling the needs of others at high levels.

When we operate at high levels, there is playfulness, curiosity, experimentation and exploration! We want to improve our societies, we want to live exciting happy lives.

Yesterday when I watched Elon Musk talk about Making Life Multiplanetary I see that he is working from what do we need or even must do as a species in order to increase the odds of basic survival and safety.

Elon Musk has anticipated the need, as has many others. Anyone who has anticipated and accepted the need starts to talk about the importance of doing something, in order to find collaborators to find a way to fulfill the need. Then there are those who are resourceful enough find the people and with limited resource start to work towards fulfilling the need. Eventually they will succeed.

Whatever it is a big or small need, in our own lives or in the lives of others. Try to anticipate, accept and fulfill them. Be a good stoic and you won’t be disappointed.

Re-framing the Suffering

 

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Suffering is not an attractive thought, yet it is part of our lives as much as life and death is.

Since we are here, and we are bound to suffer. Then only thing that matters is counts is what do we do with it.

Do we deny or accept the suffering? Do we perhaps view it as an opportunity to grow, and seeing it as an opportunity to learn.

What we experience as suffering is a really good motivator as we are likely to avoid that in the future. When we understand that the suffering is really an attempt o learn something, we may go far. We have re-framed the suffering as something part of life and merely a signal that something should be learned so that we do not have to simply wait here until something happens.

Two Superpowers: Accepting the Circumstances and Focusing to What is in Your Control

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I was writing my life story today morning and I realized a pattern emerge: Whenever I’ve accepted present, taken responsibility and focused to do my best in the given circumstances I’ve ended up well.

Sometimes grass is greener other times. Other times it isn’t. You yourself have a hunch, are you just escaping the responsibilities of the present, or is the present influence negative to you. You have to search inside your heart for these answers. Once you know, you probably know if the present actually could be improved significantly just by assuming massive responsibility of the situation.

I’ve been in such situations often and I still end up being. As example, last spring there was a project I felt completely miserable with. When I noticed that something is wrong, I am focusing my effort to things that are not under my control. Then I decided to refocus my attention to what I can do. With this my thoughts clicked, and I began to do my best in what is under my control. The sense of control was restored and I began to feel better.

Sometimes our attention wanders off to wrong things, or we get caught off guard with something which we need to process: accept what is and find our circle of control where to focus to.

I have been in so lucky in life, that I’ve learned to recognize the negative influences to my life and find good influences. In environment of good influences, it is merely I that needs to grow into acceptance, responsibility and focus.

Only once we accept our circumstances we can begin to improve those. We should only focus to what is in our control, otherwise we gonna burn out or get depressed.

Learning from the Unconscious

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To take advantage of human mind, we need to remember the strengths of the mind: creative and associative force, which consists of both the conscious and unconscious elements. We often relate to what we are consciously, although much of our true wealth, spiritual and intellectual comes from the unconscious parts.

Unconscious pushes thoughts, feelings and images to our consciousness, the more we try to repress it, the more frequently and certainly the unconscious will try to communicate those to us. Unconscious mind is too much for mere consciousness to handle, it’s rather complex to process all at once. Yet the relationship between the conscious and unconscious works rather well: unconscious pushes things that seem the most important at a time to the level of consciousness.

When these thoughts, feelings and images from the level of unconscious surface, we should take a time to listen as this will certainly be a clue to help in our own growth.

In addition to listening skill, we need to be open and accepting, because we are learning about ourselves. For our own growth, we need to be able to process all this constructively, if we are not able to do this the thoughts will get repressed again and will appear later even stronger than before and the pattern will repeat until it’s so strong that we need to seek help, which in itself is an advisable on the path of growth. It’s only limited things we can achieve by ourselves, after all.

To summarize, learning from the unconscious takes both listening and acceptance skills, then some constructive reflection and action make the necessary improvements in everyday level.

Who Does Emotions Serve?

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Emotions are infinitely interesting. When they occur we rarely have time to ponder about them, however when these emotions have passed, we might have a while to consider was it worth it.

One interesting emotion I’ve lately observed is jealousy. What makes this like any other emotion, it’s hard to put in words. This is because emotions are much more deeper in our brains than is our verbal capabilities, “we just feel” this way. I am often wondering what end does jealousy in sense serve?

Same could be applied to any “negative” emotion. Mostly positive emotions are not a problem for, even though those might be when we are avoiding action for example.

With the case of jealousy, it’s not particularly good emotion to feel. Still it’s important to recognize, accept and maybe find the deeper why. Through the deeper understanding I might find clues how to live a life happier and more focused to what works rather than that of perceiving others as having more or competing over limited resources.

Growth is a process and any growth involves confronting emotions. In time we learn better and better recognize and handle these emotions.

Life Swings Between Boredom and Suffering

Schopenhauer’s words about life that I often ponder about. Too much of either suffering or boredom makes us feel miserable so the key is balance. Balancing all days, weeks, months and years is impossible thought so what to do when these feelings again reappear?

I see there is only one constructive thing we can do: accept it, learn about it and improve in the long run. As swedes say ‘lite bättre’, a little bit better next time.

Remembering and applying the actions in future is as vital as the learning experience itself.