After thinking and pondering, I’ve changed my mind since I wrote the two leverages. Although time is leverage, it becomes relevant only after we know who we are, we know what we want and we think we have control over our lives.
The most important leverage in our life is identity and through identity we use time to our advantage.
I learned these three questions yesterday as I was reading Aki Hinta’s The Core – Better Life, Better Performance. The core is our identity. I realized that this book made the biology and positive psychology click together: being happy and wellbeing leads to success.
This connects very well what I’ve learned from Tom Rath from his books as well as Jim Loehr, Tony Schwartz from The Power of Full Engagement.
How You Are Depends on Who You Are
Our wellbeing and happiness is tightly connected to our identity.
Healthily diversified identity can process all kinds of setbacks, rejections and bounce back rather quickly. This is because a failure in one or two areas of life, is not the end of the world. One still gets support from other areas of life. More about this in Increase Your Liberties with Alternatives.
Being happy with who you are now, takes a lots of work! Mental work that is, to accept ourselves, reframe our failures as sources of learning experience. This is however, exactly what I would suggest you to do: to learn the habits to love yourself as you are, to enjoy what you have, be grateful and joyful about the life.
What You Have is Outcome of Who You Are
Your life up until now, is the sum of your actions, habits and beliefs. Outside influences have a role too, however it’s not a role we should be focusing on, because that we cannot control at all and at best just influence.
We should focus on what we can control. Essential in the WHO, is your identity. From identity comes your attitude, beliefs and action. These are completely under our control.
Aki Hintsa asks three questions:
- Do you know who you are?
- Do you know what you want?
- Do you believe, you can control your life?
Answer to these questions.
When I did this exercise yesterday, I noticed that my identity part was the shakiest of these all, so I needed to remember again who I am. That’s why I went to research my strengths as well to remind myself who I am and then again, what I want to accomplish. Belief in that I can control is strong.
I noticed that my self-definition had become a bit blur in time. Actually even just a few weeks makes any definition obsolete, as human beings we are rather fluid. As example I’ve written this kind of description to my twitter which doesn’t anymore feel completely in sync with who I am: Marketing/Sales/Coach/Creative/Blogger.
Good about this description is the wide array of labels, that overlap many areas of my life. Wider and more general description serve my mental health very well. Previously in life, I’ve seen plenty enough of examples, where the identity is too narrow, and when that part is taken away from you this causes great anguish and collapse. From such experiences, I’ve decided to be keep my identity balanced and tied to many activities, rather than just focusing deeply in just few.
Therefore now I decided to clarify just for myself a few new more accurate labels. And since I am this far in the writing process I might share it with you as well:
Creative – Creativity and ideas have so many forms and it is my job to bring them alive in all areas of life.
Strategic – My major strength according to Strengthfinder 2.0. I hear strategic thinking cannot be taught. So therefore, I try to use this to benefit more people in my life.
Writer – Like I breathe, I want to write. It’s a form of habit and this habit is the savior of my life. In my priorities it’s right there with breathing and sleeping. Sometimes sleeping wins and it should, because in the long run sleeping is more important for the sake of the writing.
Coach – Coaching is teaching. Above all I love to think and learn in life. And what could be more fulfilling that to teach what I’ve learned to someone who actually needs and benefits of it?
Friend – With all the striving going on, I should remember to accept people as they are, where they are like they do accept me. Friendship is wonderful.
Once you’ve figured out the answers to the three questions, you have the leverage. Then there is the work.