We can be prisoners of our own narrative even while other people talk. I’ve noticed that not many people even hear the exact words what they are being told (especially under pressure). Instead listeners produce whatever they think.
Under pressure is where many biases of the mind are revealed.
It takes trained mind to see and listen objectively.
Practice is the way.
Try this: listen audio or even video of a speaker. Listen up until ten minutes and try to explain what they just said. Then repeat and see what they really said word for word then compare these two.
This is the reality gap. By mindful listening I mean the ability to hear what has been said as it is, this makes growth very fruitful, because you are able to process speech more objectively.