We all have those days, when our slight expectations and hope fail and not only fail, but they are turned completely around to something else. This can happen when we least expect it, which then further adds shock value to our lives.
Emotions are infectious. Some people are blessed with mental processes that cannot utter a negatively charged word in their lives and those are blessed. Yet we all have our dark moments. How to turn those moments into something else?
- Refrain from feeding further the negativity. Instead try to find different perspectives to look at whatever has happened. A creative technique here is the Six Thinking Hats.
- One negative can easily turn whole day into a bleak darkness. Is it really so? Find at least three positives from the day, there should be anything? Did you have great lunch? Did you finish everything on schedule? And what about that morning exercise which you’ve been doing?
- Fretting over what has happened and is beyond your control does not help, we have to let go of that which is not in our control (see my post about circle of control). Focus that which you can control and build the positive upward spiral from there on upwards.
- Tom Rath gives excellent tip in Are You Fully Charged when he suggests of being 80% positive. This creates far more positive interactions through the day which then again snowball into the mountains of very positive feelings through everyone you meet.
- Build mindfulness and awareness to deal the negative thoughts as they rise. The unskillful thoughts are their weakest when they first appear. Most of the meditations have such techniques. For starters I would recommend Ajahn Brahn’s meditations and talks on Youtube.
By becoming aware of the negative states, we can also accept it and recognize that we are not our negative thoughts. They are mostly responses that our mind creates, however, we can choose what to do with them (how to respond). If we cultivate kindness and forgiveness, we can let those go and thus we are able to reach the mostly (80%) positive state.
Metta to all