Originally I got idea of journaling from the movie Postman, probably somewhere at the end of nineties. However, I did not put the idea to action, it was just a very interesting idea that resonated with me.
I do have regrets, in the present moment I try to view them as a source of energy and power to create new things, instead of cling to and complain about the old.
Example of such regret is the period of my teenage years and early adulthood as I was literally lost, without taking the reins of responsibility.
One thing that journaling finally when I started doing it an ten years later on 2009 is that it allowed me to start writing my own story about myself for myself. Finally the world started to become more fair place for a sensitive person like myself. I discovered a tool that gave me more power to structure my thoughts and experiences in a safe way.
It’s a tool I did not have during that period, from which not everything is regret, however the direction or the lack of therefore was. Since I felt powerless, and I was unaware of the power of the words in this world, I wished for an easy life.
Nothing good comes out of easy life, or wishing for one, it makes only one weak. And world is not kind place for the weak.
“Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one” ― Bruce Lee
After ten years, I adopted the idea of journaling, I became self-aware and I started developing myself through challenges and find a relief in the means of meditation to cope with the pressures and anxieties of life.
There is no growth without the challenge, if we do not have any challenge we will grow weak. Robert Greene in the 48 laws of power suggests to find enemies and rivals to force yourself to stay strong. In the Robert Kiyosaki’s Rich Dad Poor Dad, the Rich dad suggests to pay yourself first in order to keep the pressure on yourself to grow and therefore grow strong.
When I was at my weakest, I did not have enemies or rivals or anything really to push me to get out there. Even to my own liking it took way too long for the societal pressure to build up and thankfully I was at last ready to start blasting through myself and start from the bottom, not even level 1, but level 0. Just going outside to a public place with people would be a struggle.
Experience of being there and coming to here is still valuable reminder that we shouldn’t stop. We should keep moving and not worry too much about the speed of moving yet, because acceleration can happen rapidly, but to start moving takes time.
What comes to the stories, we can always rewrite and reinterpret those and change the meaning for ourselves and others as well. If we do not know how to tell stories of our past experiences, we are letting others to do it for us and that too was a part of my weakness. I rarely even verbally spoke my stories so others got to dictate the meanings. Journaling changed this for me as I first told more accurate stories to myself and in the end to others as well.
Like Ajahn Brahn always tells, we are all crooked trees, and they are the most wondeful!
Now I tell stories of growth rather than the story of being stuck on one place. What is the theme of your story?