Our identities are the sum of what we’ve so far experienced in life. Do we have conscious power over it then? Of course we do, every decision we make is a choice.
What we do, we form a bond with. I’ve been contemplating a lot about this sentence “hands, heart, head” in this order as I learned it from Jari Sarasvuo and I’ve come to the conclusion that it must be so. What we do forms the relation to what we are. Therefore doing is very important to form the relationship with anything.
If we do, we start to form the identity as a person who does that thing.
It’s not limited to action thought. We can start to reinforce our identity with other ways as well.
Let’s say we want to be a weightlifter. Lifting weights is the things that makes you able to say that, question is what makes others to say that?
There is no really right or wrong answer, but something that others can see, your demeanor, behavior, manners, looks etc. that bring a certain simplification to the lips of others. Those who want to maintain certain image know this very well: we are judged by our exterior performance.
That exterior performance also affects our internal world more than we are aware. Let’s say you would wear a clown costume to work for one day to work or school for no apparent reason, would that raise any questions? It would have to be even more introverted society than here in Finland if it wouldn’t.
Exterior image affects ourselves too, whether or not we accept this. Every time we choose to look (or not to look in the mirror). Even if we would be living in social isolation and simply don’t care, I think the what kind of image we have of our selves does matter.
Therefore the fake it until you make it phrase, is indeed on the right track. We need to support our identity before we can make it.
In a sense we just need an identity which is well equipped for our motivations and to recognize that we can consciously also support the design of this identity.